Teasing my Natsuki
by TheGreenEyedRioN
Summary: Shizuru's PoV to the topic of 'what is messing with my head' Necessary to read both. Is Shizuru trying to forget Natsuki by not seeing her anymore? please note that english is not my native language. Sorry for that
1. Going back home

**ShizNat fanfiction Shiz**

_'It has been nearly a year since I left Fuuka Academy.' _

_*you hear some people chatting around in the background*_

_'Ne, Natsuki- how long haven't I heard your beautiful voice?' _

"Shizuru-sama" a girl comes running to her, smiling with big eyes and the cutest expression on her face that she had.

"Ara, Hachi-san. Still at campus? I thought you may have left to the dorm already." Shizuru giving her typical smile.

"Um, actually I was waiting for you. I really need your help." She kind of looks a bit desperate.

"We can talk on the way to the dorm, okay?"

* * *

><p>"So basically you are in love with my roommate?" Shizuru gives off a slight laughter. "Seriously I am kinda relieved, since you told me in November that I would be your crush."<p>

"Don't say it that loud, please Onee-sama! I had a crush on you, but I'm telling you: THIS IS LOVE!" She makes a winning pose.

"Now who's the shouting one?"

"iiiagh" Hachi's face turns bright red.

"Don't worry, I will keep it a secret and I try to find out about Nana-chans feelings."

* * *

><p>"Nana-chan, I'm home."<p>

"Oh, your late. I just got back from the convenience store. Shall we cook together?"

"Yeah, sure. I just go take a change of clothes."

"Well-how about Ramen this evening Shi-chan?" Nana smiles politely at Shizuru.

"Hm." _*Nodding*_ "Ne, Nana? You are just as tall as me. You have this beautiful body of yours and cute short hair."

_*Nana's face is blushing*_ "Shi-chan! What's that all of a sudden?"

"I mean you are very popular at campus. You could have more than one boyfriend."

"You are not the one to talk like that when all of the boys and the girls flatter around you."

"Maybe, but you know I only have eyes for that one girl. So are you also interested in girls?"

"You do know that already-I could tell about you the moment I met you! So why this all of a sudden?"

* * *

><p>"So that actually happened on your way home. Well I have to admit that I found her cute before..." Nana is raising one hand to rub the side of her head<p>

"Before, you mean before she confessed to me?" Shizuru giving her a bright smile.

"I will talk to her by chance-promised! But do you think she is honest?"

"Ara, starting to care already? Kinda cute."

"Ahh-you moron. Well we already have this topic on now so, tell me. Why don't you keep contact with that girl? I mean she didn't tell you to stay away, did she?"

* * *

><p><em>'How do I explain myself. Nana is honest but I never was the type to be honest with others about my feelings.'<em>

"The Ramen really is delicious, Nana-chan." giving her best smile while filling her bowl again.

"Oi, Shi-chan. We did it together, you know. You don't have to thank me every time that I am still living here with you, even though I am always the one to go and buy the things we need. You definitely are the one who keeps our apartment tidy and clean!" shaking her head softly.

"Nana, you asked me earlier why I didn't keep contact with Natsuki." calmly standing up and starting to wash the dishes.

"Ah, so you finally do speak about it, huh? Her name is Natsuki? Sounds like she is a cute girl and yet I always thought you would have the, you know, the girl-part in the relationship." starting to grin.

"Ara?" starting to brew some tea.

"That's a good idea, I'll finish to wash the dishes. When it comes to making tea, no one is better than Shi-chan." standing up to finish the cleaning.

"Well, I guess since you are the only one to call me Shi-chan it will be okay to tell you why I didn't give her a call." nipping at the tea.

"I'm honored ~Milady~ ." taking a big gulp.

"On my last day I gave her photo that shows us before the bad times we had. It is one of the biggest treasures I have. Since it was made I always kept it with me. However, her reaction as she saw it made definitely clear, that she has no feelings for it." taking another sip.

"So basically you shout yourself of because you got hurt." *sigh* "Believe me, I do understand you."

While Shizuru is refilling their cups a tear runs silent down her face. As she notices it she tries to turn her face away from Nana. _'My oh my, seems like my mask is breaking.'_

"So, did she tell you not to call her?" trying to hide the fact that she saw Shizurus tear.

"Not really." calming herself. "In fact I asked her pretty blunt if I should call her..." laying her left hand on her chest.

"Shi-chan. You don't have to force yourself to tell this to me." using a very soft voice.

"Nah, it's okay. You see, she just sad that I would always do what I want. But my head just counted it as if she had said that I would never do what she wanted." another tear falls down, avoiding the cup just by centimeters.

"Don't try to give me a smiling face just to cover this one, Shi-chan." taking her in her arms.

* * *

><p>As the sun of the next day rises Shizuru is already up, thinking about her past. <em>'There actually never were a lot people in my live that I was able to open up. I really have to thank mom that she would allow me to study in Tokyo. Seems like she did understand how I felt. I just wanted to get a distance between her and me, to maybe accept how things worked out. Yet I don't just miss my beloved one, I also miss my best friend.'<em>

Some hours are passing while she is thinking about Natsuki, the flower garden, the student council room where Natsuki often fell asleep, ...

_'Ara? Already 9 am. maybe I should wake up Nana. Huh? She's already left? Maybe she already went over to Hachis place. I should find something to do, I mean semester breaks are quite joyful times. Normally in vacations I went shopping with Natsuki.' *sigh* 'That girl wouldn't have any clothes to wear if it wasn't for me.'_

"Oi! Shi-chan!" Nana running towards Shizuru after slamming the door.

"Ara? Nana-chan was up pretty early. How uncommon of you." looking at the closed door and starting to grin. "I thought you would bring Hachi-chan with you."

"I got something better, believe me. Here, look."

Nana is handing over 2 tickets.

"Ti-Tickets for Fuuka? Are you serious?" Shizuru starting to shiver.

"HAI! Now grab your things, we're gonna have some fun there. I really want to have some other view than the city of Tokyo, plus: you still have an apartment there, right?" joyfully, yet honest.

"B-But you also have a house in Germany where your parents live, right Nana? Wouldn't you..."

"STOP speaking nonsense. You do know why we have to go there. Germany can wait!" making a winning pose. "I'll definitely help you win her heart!"

* * *

><p>"I have to admit that this is really a magical place, Shi-chan. Everything seems to be peaceful and calm, just like you." Nana looking around with a shine in her eyes.<p>

"Nana-chan sure is overexcited. Also this place wasn't ever this peaceful, believe me. It was often pretty loud and" 'I _can't tell her about the HiME's'_ "You know what I mean." dozing away a bit by the view of this familiar city.

"Show me the academy! It really has to be like in a manga, right? I mean this city could come out of one..." jumping from one corner to another like a little child on Christmas.  
>"Ara, I sometimes forget that Nana-chan is all new to our eastern style. Germany has to be totally different." giving Nana a teasing smile.<p>

"Seems like you finally relax a bit. You were pretty frightening to watch since our arrival here." looking at Shizuru a bit worried.

"Maybe you're right. Let's walk a bit so my head can cool off. I make sure to show you the academy."

Time passes as they walk all the way to Shizurus former school. The scenery is peaceful, yet blows there a strong wind from time to time, especially as the city is lying further and further behind them.

Shizuru and Nana stop in front of Fuuka Academy.

"Oh wow. I actually really think it is like in a manga. Don't tell me it's an all-girls-school!" Nana sure over enjoyed.

"Nah, it's just a normal school, having _*harrumph*_ normal students"

_'No HiME's...Nooo'_

Shizuru lays her right hand softly on her left side where her HiME mark once used to be.

"This sure brings back a lot of memories. It somehow feels just like yesterday that I learned here."

"KA-KAICHOU?"

Shizuru jumps around to see a orange-red haired girl standing behind her with big eyes.  
>"Mai-san. You look shocked. Is something bothering you?" giving her a light smile.<p>

"I'm fine, it's just...what are you doing here? I mean, you're back?" Mai now calming a bit but still shocked.

"I just got here so I wanted to show my friend Nana around. Going to class in the evening?"

"Eh? No I have a club meeting and I am already late because- AH! Shizuru-sama, Natsuki is in the hospital!" half shouting at Shizuru now. "She doesn't look so goo-"

Before Mai could even finish her report Shizuru starts to run, leaving Nana and Mai behind.

* * *

><p><em>'How long am I running now? I can't see Fuuka Academy anymore. Gomene Nana, I just have to get going. Natsuki. Natsuki! I'm coming for ya. Please be okay. Natsuki!'<em>

She forgot anything else now while running.

As she finally arrives at the hospital she realizes that she run at least 5km without stopping. She's going right ahead to the information desk.

The woman seems deeply in work though no other visitors seem to be here at this hour.

"We don't allow visitors this late, I'm sorry." She's barely looking up at Shizuru.

"My name is Fujino Shizuru. I'm absolutely positive you heard about my mother. She is a big investor of this hospital and some other public buildings especially in this town." speaking yet a bit harsh but also with the pressure of a business man.

"Ah? Oh I'm so sorry Miss Fujino. I didn't kno- who would you may grant your visit? I'm sure we can arrange something." The Lady is bright red now noticing in which trouble she would be if her boss found out.

"Kuga Natsuki. And may she be not in a single room immediately move her into one" ordering with an all clear voice "I'll pay for it."

* * *

><p><em>'There she is. The doctor said she has not eaten properly. Yes it seems like she lost some weight. Your just a child after all, Natsuki'<em>

"zuru" *moan* "Shi...Shizuru" *moan* "ahn"

_'EHH? Did she just? She is moaning my name...should I touch her? No NO stop it! I won't lay a finger on sleeping Natsuki again. Last time should have been a lesson.'_

Shizuru quietly sitting back in her chair relaxing for a moment then leaning forward to see Natsukis now troubled face._ 'She is shivering while dreaming about me. I bet she has a bad dream of that night before I went mad.'_

"Wake up. Ara, Na-tsu-ki. You have to wake up, you're having a bad dream." Shizuru leans over to her, gently wiping away the tear.

"I am all...alone" Natsuki starting to lightly wake up.

"Ara, I wouldn't say I am all alone when I'm having a visitor. This could offend people, you know. How are you feeling? Mai told me you were in a pretty bad shape this afternoon." Smiling with her ~everything is fine~ smile as if no time has passed between the two of them.

"Shizuru...you are really here..." still a very low voice

_'Seems like she is dozing off again. Is her shape that bad?'_

"EEHH? WHAT _*jumping into vertical position*_ ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Natsuki now speaking pretty loud.

"I am visiting you. You know that you can't shout out so loud at evening in a hospital. And what's with that face you're making? You actually look kinda funny at the moment. Did I disturb you while you had a private dream?" Shizuru is looking deep in her dizzy green eyes. _'How I missed her emerald green eyes'_

"What I meant is why you are here as in why you are at Fuuka...baka. And what's with that teasing about a private dream?" Natsuki starting to lose her balance.

"Careful." Catching her arm and pushing her back in the bed. "I have a semester break now so I thought I should come here and help you with your studying. You know, you were never that brilliant in maths."

_'I could never stop teasing you Natsuki. Why can't you see it as my expression of love?'_

"You disappear for more than half a year and now you act like nothing happened. You said you would call me." her voice is shaking a bit.

"You wanted me to call you?" Watching Natsuki with passionate eyes. _'She just lost her strength in voice, didn't she? Kawaii...'_

"I missed you." Natsukis eyes widening suddenly as she realizes what she just said.

"Ara, Natsuki really must be sick. I really missed my Natsuki too, you know." perfect smile again. _'With her I can really be straightforward I guess.'_

"You always called me so I thought you would at least let me know that you are still alive."

"So Natsuki was worried that I would be dead? How could I leave my Natsuki behind?" _'She is so cute today., feels like I'm melting.'_

"Stop calling me as yours..." getting a stubborn expression on her face.

"Gomene, Natsuki. You should try to get some sleep, you are sick after all. Else your temperature might rise again."

_'Though I would really love to listen to your beautiful voice a bit longer, my love.'_

"Shi-Shizuru. C-Could you stay the night. If- If I gave you a kiss, w-would you stay?"

_'My-oh-my. Natsuki for god sake don't make my heart beat like that. What has gotten into your head today. I guess I have no choice but to make her clear what she just offered.'_

Shizuru leans over to her, looking at her pale lips. Natsuki is starting to shiver.

Natsuki closes her eyes and opens her mouth a bit. The next she feels is Shizuru lightly kissing her forehead.

"I already paid for Natsukis single room. You didn't notice that it's not the same as this afternoon? Ara, would you like me to join you in your bed?" a little teasing. _'This is my chance to steal a hug from my ice princess.'_

"Your only going to be perverted. Don't you?" looking her in the red eyes.

"Nah-I don't want to catch whatever it is Natsuki has, but I thought that my arms and chest would be smoother than your pillow."

_'Even though it makes my heart ache when you are this close. Seems like you are my illness, somehow.'_

"Then I make some place for you. Maybe you also can rest some in this bed." letting Shizuru take her in her arms. "I feel dizzy again. I might fall asleep soon."

"Go on. I'll keep the nightmares from you." using a very gentle voice.

_'I just have to ask her about it. Else I won't get any sleep.'_

"You know, you were moaning in your sleep earlier, while you said my name. Who is the perv?" whispering in Natsukis ear.

"EEHH? NO I didn't! I'm sick so I sometimes have to gasp that's all- and I didn't call your name!" screaming.

"Ara, ara. I must have heard something wrong. Just relax for now. Let's sleep." a slight laughter.

_'That was intense. So she really must have dreamed about me. What was that expression on your face just now, I wonder. '_


	2. Growing away

_I really am happy that I already have some favs and alerts on my story. please feel free to review as well. I just noticed that the _ I made between time jumps didn't appear on the online version so I try to fix it this time. Gomenasai!_

_Next time Shizurus POV will be first up. Why? There actually is a reason! It could be some time before I update because of school exams though..._

* * *

><p><em>'Ara? Sun is rising? No, please don't let it be morning. Natsuki looks so beautiful with the light sunshine on her cheeks. She looks like she feels very comfortable with my arms around her body, her head on my collarbone and her...uh, she has her left hand on my right breast...' Shizuru blushing hard. 'My-oh-my. You sure make my heart race my Natsuki. Well, I should get up now. If I clean up her apartment, we could go there and spend the evening if she's allowed to go. I should definitely cook something for her so she does eat something healthier than mayo.'<em>

"Miss Fujino? It's me, doctor Yohko. I just wanted to greet such a welcome guest by my own." she said with a big smile on her face.

"Oh, Miss Yohko. I'm sorry but I just had to teach that girl on the information desk a lesson." smiling as usual

"I can understand you, don't get me wrong Shizuru-san. Your friend is allowed to at noon. Would you tell her please? She really has to look after herself a bit more." Yohko leaving the room as fast as she appeared.

_'Time for me to go, Na-tsu-ki'_

"Good morning Natsuki." happy voice breaking the sleepy atmosphere. _'Ara, she seems to be waking up.'_ "I have to get up. Natsuki should sleep a bit more and eat breakfast here. The doctor was here quite a while ago. She said that you're allowed to go at noon. I'll go to your apartment and prepare it for you. If I may take a shower at yours and get into some other clothes?" her voice is slow, clear and lovely. _'I would love to wear some of your clothes, my love. I can't forget your smell...'_

"Feel yourself at home. You can also grab some clothes of mine."

_'Did she just read my mind? I thought it would bother her. Well, I won't have to stop at my apartment now. I'll just take the car out of the garage. Huh? What's with that weird face she's making?'_

"Thank you." Shizuru softly said.

"Arigatou." Shizurus voice raising a bit.

_'She's not here with her thoughts, I guess.'_

"ARA! Natsuki is spacing out. I said haligato a minute ago. You should let me get out of bed now." showing her usual smile but there's a glare in her eyes for her Natsuki only.

_'Even if I would never want you to leave my embrace.'_

Natsuki removing her hands fast from Shizurus back. "Ah, gomene." Natsuki starting to blush (again).

_'Ah, she's blushing again. You look so hot like that, but I would never tell you that.'_

"Ara, Natsuki blushing sure looks cute." using her teasing voice. "I really have to go now or I won't be able to pick you up later."

"You're gonna pick me up?"

_'I would never miss the chance to.'_

"If Natsuki doesn't want me to that's also fine." her smile still remaining but the shine in her eyes fading away.

"I don't want you to go in the first place."

_'Natsuki. Don't tell me this. You just make me fall more in love with you.'_

"Natsuki's speaking funny things when she's sick. Since when did ~you get so straightforward?" the shine is coming back to her eyes.

"That is because I have to say those things before you leave me again." shrinking her arms in front of her.

_'Stop hurting me by sounding like you're in love with me. Please, I already am all yours._'

"Gomene Natsuki. But I never meant to hurt you by disappearing. I'll be on my way now. See you later." walking away very fast.

_'I was thinking about forgetting my feelings towards you. You know, sometimes you make me fear you for what you can do to me. You give me hope and the next second you tear my heart apart. You know, Natsuki, I really am in love with you.'_

* * *

><p><em>'Good that I have a driver's license now. Should I stop by the apartment...nah, I really want to wear some of Natsukis clothes. Ah, there my BMW is. Long time no see, my friend. We have a nice place to drive to now.'<em>

Shizuru closes the door of her car softly, her view on Natsukis apartment. _'Ah, there it is. I really am glad that I am the owner of the spare key.' _Shizuru enters the clumsy apartment. You can see that this is Natsukis home just by turning on the lights. The windows are all closed up, you can still smell the sweaty air from the day before when Natsuki collapsed.

_'Clumsy as ever my dear Natsuki. I really misses your scent a lot.'_ Shizuru looking around.

_'I should start cleaning up now.'_

* * *

><p>Shizuru really is the queen of cleaning. She lets fresh air in, covers the bed with new blankets and does everything else that she thinks needs to be done. It is very quiet, just sometimes you can hear a little laughter from Shizuru.<p>

_'Finished! Well then, I have to take a shower. Ara? Was that noise the door?'_

She walks to the front door.

"Ah, Kaichou-san. I didn't know that you would be here. I just wanted to" Mai looks around the very clean room. "clean up..."

_'So she also has a spare key.'_

"How nice of you, Mai-san. But I think it is already OK by now." Shizuru giving her one of her best smiles.

"Well, will she be released today? If so, we could all make dinner together this evening. Nana is also worried about you, you quite shocked her by running right away yesterday...and me too." Mai with a caring voice.

"Ah, I almost forgot. Gomene." Shizuru a bit worried.

"Nah, she's not mad at you. I took her with me. She and Mikoto really get along very well. And I was impressed how she made the cooking club look like little children with plastic food yesterday." Mai speaks very praising.

_'Sure Nana-chan is a great cook. Her german way of cooking really is something.'_

"Nana-chan is amazing, I know. Should we get food then for a meal this evening? I can drive us to a supermarket." light smile added as always

"So that expensive looking car is yours...OK, lets do it."

* * *

><p>"Wow, Shizuru-sama. We bought quite a lot. Are you sure you want to pay all by yourself." Mai worried yet a bit impressed.<p>

"Ara? It's okay. Just keep the price for yourself, I don't want Natsuki to get angry." _'She would be angry, I know that.'_

They put everything in the boot and drove back to Natsukis apartment.

After they put the food away Mai starts texting Mikoto.

"I told them to go to town for a bit. Nana will see a bit more and Mikoto likes to run around. I meet them there later." Mai laughing as the image of Mikoto appears on her cell phone.

_'She really is a good friend to have. She is cheering and gives the sign of hope to everyone.'_ "Would you come pick Natsuki up with me?" Shizuru asks friendly.

"Of course! I'd like to tease her some more." Mai makes an evil face.

_'So I'm not the only one that likes teasing Natsuki. I hope she's not a better teaser than me.' _

"Mai-san, I'll go take a shower first."

"Ah, ok. I'll bring you some of your clothes to the bath. Nana gave me some of yours to bring along." Mais violet eyes searching the room for her bag.

_'Damn. That was my chance to get into some of my Natsukis clothes saying goodbye. Smile, Shizuru. Be happy that she cares about you and brought you your stuff. Smile the perfect smile you practiced so much.'_

"Arigatou, Mai-san. I'll be on my way then."

* * *

><p><em>'I really like Natsukis shower. It's totally western style, but yet it's kind of charming.'<em>

_Her thoughts wandering off...'To think that she is completely naked under her shower...WAIT! What the hell? Why would somebody wear something while cleaning himself? Focus on washing. You have to hurry so can see her again.'_

Shizuru increases her speed. She has to fight the images popping up in her brain. _'Stop thinking about her naked. You'll regret it later...'_

* * *

><p>The two of them arrive at the hospital.<p>

"I really like your car, Shizuru-sama. Never heard of this label though." Mai looking at the car symbol closely.

"It is a german car. My father was quite shocked I knew so much about cars but he was happy too. Also Mai-san, please. I think you should stop adding the sama after my name, after all we went trough a lot." An honest smile on Shizurus face.

"I'm impressed that you're interested in cars. I thought you were only..."

"You mean a traditional yet girlish person? Interested only in tea ceremony and flower arranging? No, I like to keep those traditions so they don't get lost. But I really love cars like BMW, Porsche and Lamborghini. Motorcycles are pretty cool, too. I just, I am a bit afraid of driving one." Shizuru blushing lightly.

"Ah, Shizuru-san. Now I really am impressed." her eyes widening by the sight of Shizurus blushed cheeks. "Don't worry, I keep it a secret from Natsuki." her caring, soft voice again.

"Would you go upstairs to pick her up? Room 713. I'll stay here and pay before Natsuki can do it herself." a shine going through her eyes as she speaks _Natsuki_ out loud.

* * *

><p>'I hate those people who can't even concentrate enough to write out a bill.' Shizuru puts her sign under the contract. 'There, now I just put my card back into my pocket. Oh they're here already.'<p>

Shizuru walking over to Natsuki and Mai who just arrived in the entrance hall.

"Mai-san. Would you take Natsuki to my car." looking at Natsuki "Hans me over that bag of yours, would you." using a soft voice with the slightest bit of an ordering tone.

"See, I told you to give me your bag before." Mai said proudly.

'Is Natsuki about to fall? She looks weak on her feet.'

"growl...Here Shizuru, nut I think I could carry it myself." Natsuki a bit stubborn.

'I'm glad you always listen to me. I love you for that, you know.'

"Mai-san, be careful. She seems like she is about to fall." speaking directly to Mai, ignoring Natsuki.

"Don't speak like I can't hear you two!" Natsuki starting to tremble as she tries to walk.

'So she really is weak on her feet. Should I carry her? Nah, she would be too embarrassed especially in front of someone else.'

Shizuru watches Mai taking Natsuki to her car as she puts the bag in the boot.

"Mai-san. Please take a seat. I'll drive through town so you can get erlier to Mikoto and Nana-chan." smiling lightly.

"Thank you. Ah, Reito-san asked about you in his last letter-I'll bring it with me this evening."

"Arigatou." A light shine in her face.

'I kinda miss him. He really was a good person to talk to.'

* * *

><p>They drive through town. Shizuru focused on driving just like there is a little baby on her backseat<em>. 'Why am I so focused on the backseat today. I hope she doesn't catch my look through the mirror. She is so beautiful when she is weak like that. Everybody sees her as a boyish, rebellious ice princess. I really love that she doesn't act like that in front of me.'<em>

Mai suddenly raises her voice.

"Oi. There are Nana and Mikoto, what a coincidence." Mai happily.

Shizuru stops the car on the last free parking lot in the street. A tall girl starts running towards the car. Mikoto is following her a bit slower. As Mai leaves the car to hug Mikoto the tall girl uses the opportunity to lean herself in the car through the open door.

"Ara, Nana-chan? Gomene about leaving you so suddenly behind yesterday."

Nana types a private message for only Shizuru to see on her smart phone. She shows it to Shizuru but not in the sight of Natsuki so she wouldn't notice it.

On the display:

::She's pretty, the baby you have on your backseat! Go, get the girl! I'll support you as much as I can. Wanna have details later. Also have news for you. Be more seductive, Shi-chan!::

_'Don't blush. Oh Nana, I really do want her to love me.'_ Shizurus eyes shining bright.

"Oi Shi-chan..." Nana with a big smile.

"Gomene." Shizuru acting like she hasn't read it for Natsuki not to notice.

"I said it 3 times already. I'm not mad at you. Now get the hell out of this traffic" Nana giving her a supporting smile while putting her smartphone secretly into her pocket. "and I'll see you later. I'm looking forward to cook with you and Mai."

_'Thanks for giving me time with her alone.'_

* * *

><p><em>'She looks dozed out.'<em>

As they arrive at Natsukis apartment the latter doesn't even realize that they're already right in front of her home.

"Natsuki looks like she dozed out. Ara, is that a tear?" _'What's wrong my love?'_ "Did you dislike me driving that much?" teasing her while trying to put her own face at ease.

"Sorry. I just felt my body hurt a bit." Trying to sound like she's better now.

_'You can't lie to me. You look like it still hurts pretty much. When did you stop being honest to me? It feels like your growing away from me.'_

Natsuki gets herself out of the car but is stopped moving by Shizuru. _'I will make your pain go away as much as I can, my Natsuki. '_ Shizuru picks her up and starts carrying her towards the door.

"Shi-Shizuru! What are you doing? You don't have to carry me. I really am able to walk by myself." blushing very hard.

'You must be angry. I feel your heart beat very fast. Gomene. I love you so much and I really wanted to carry you.'

"Nah, I really like carrying my princess Natsuki. Also it's like carrying my wife over the doorstep, you know." _'I'm no longer ashamed of showing my feelings towards you like this'_

"Shizuru! Stop talking like that!" Natsukis face red like a tomato by now.

END PART 2

Q: Why did you make Shizuru the boyish one?

A: She's not that boyish, just taking the lead, and I adore a weaker Natsuki.

Q: German car?

A: I actually am from Germany...

Q: So that's why Nana is german?

A: Maybe. She should show some german attitudes

Q: Nana is not a german name, right?

A: No. I decided this as a nickname for her to maybe refer to NANA, also Hachiko should be referred to that.

Q: What is her actual name then?

A: Should be in the next chapter.


	3. Getting WET

**Wahooo...**

**back- I know finally and I hope those who liked my story aren't mad at me.  
><strong>

**School sucks and since part of my A-levels is done I try to write until I have to learn again!  
><strong>

**second buu is coming since this is shorter than the other ones-mostly because my mom keeps telling me to stop now...  
><strong>

**I didn' check the spelling again...leck of time but I hope you enjoy this and since I know you wanna start reading, have fun ;)  
><strong>

**I don't own Mai Hime and its characters...sadly...  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"Would you like to rest on the couch or would you prefer taking a shower?" Shizuru uses a soft voice as she breaks the silence in the room. She still has Natsuki on her arms looking at her blushed face closely.<p>

"I guess I need a shower." Natsuki giving her just short answers now.

Shizuru carries her to the bathroom.

"Wait before you change. I'll get some clean clothes for you to wear and also a towel." Shizuru speaking in a low voice, trying to avoid Natsukis stare and leaving the room hastily.

_'Not that I wouldn't like to see you naked. But I know you would hate me for that.'_

Shizuru picking up a towel and tracksuit. _'This should be comfy, I wished I had one to wear for myself. This jeans is so tight and not to begin my Shirt...I just open a button or two.'_ Finally heading back to the bathroom again.

"I picked your tracksuit. Thought it would be nice to wear something comfy." _'She is so quiet today and I never thought she could be more quiet than at the carnival. Ara? Was she just staring at my boobs? Can't be, but she blushed so hard after she looked at me.'_

"Ah-um...Ano Shizuru, I- the shower..." Natsuki more stuttering than speaking.

"Oh- kannin na, Natsuki. I'll take my leave immediately." Turning on her toes Shizuru nearly jumps out of the room. _'Why do I always fall into imaginations like this...I should probably do something to kill the time until she's finished. Let's see...It's 12.15 pm so the others will arrive in about 6 hours. She should eat something before that, maybe some bread or ramen. I'll get some tea ready and then she can decide which one when she's out of the shower. Just keep yourself busy Fujino, don't even try to peek.'_

* * *

><p>"HELP, SHIZURU, ahh...please..." Natsukis voice cut through the air like daggers through Shizurus heart. As she reaches the bathroom she stops in motion. <em>'Hell-I can't just enter!'<em>

"Na-Natsuki...What's wrong?" Shizurus voice is shaking while she's trying to speak out loud.

"Shizuru, please. I can't stand anymore..." Her voice seems more like a whisper what makes Shizurus heart ache.

"Should I call Mai, or is there someone else I-" Shizuru starts to panic and fight wit herself, especially with her voice. _'I'm afraid- what should I do? YOU should enter, what a question...I can't-she'll hate me...'_

"Shizuru, please...You're the only one who can help me."

Shizurus face is bright red by this. _'OK-this must be bad...'_

* * *

><p>As she bumps the door open Shizuru finds Natsuki in the shower. She holds herself up only by pushing hard against the wall. <em>'Ara? She is so beautiful, now even more than a year ago. What should I do now...'<em>

"What am I supposed to do?" _'I just said it out loud...I know I have to help her but how should I not touch her with that?'_

"Just help me stand, please it's embarrassing..." her voice is shaking yet there is a typical blush on her face.

Shizuru quickly walks over and pulls Natsuki to herself, away from the wall.

_'I guess it's an circulatory collapse. She should have rested before taking a shower.'_

"Your getting stained. My shampoo seems to be bad for clothes..." Natsuki looking everywhere but not in Shizurus eyes.

"We should get that off of you-I try to grab the tow-" Shizuru gets quickly interrupted by Natsuki.

"Ah...No! I need that shower, please just...can you..."

Shizurus eyes widen in shock as Natsuki starts to unbutton her shirt. _'ARA? Is she...just let her do and stay calm...I said calm Fujino!'_

Her eyes follow her shirt flying out of the shower.

"Ano...Shizuru. Is this ok? I mean Nana, does she mind? Please don't say you two..."

Her hands wander to Shizurus back, softly trying to undo the bra and totally failing.

_'Does she think me and Nana are a couple? Fufufufu...but I should tease her later with this. Somehow I think she doesn't understand what she is doing right now.'_

"I only have my Na~tsu~ki." Using the thickest Kyoto accent anyone could use. "But I think you are a little out of your mind. Natsuki normally knows best how to undo a bra since she is a lingerie addict."

"Shizuru...I...ano-" ***Klick*** Shizurus bra snaps open and Natsuki hastily throws it out of the shower.

_'Ahh Natsuki- are you serious? You can't be, right?'_

* * *

><p>With this thought in mind Shizurus lips get captured by Natsukis. Natsukis kiss seems desperate, begging for more. <em>'More of what? Natsuki...'<em>

They stop as a tear falls on Natsukis cheek.

"Gomene Shizuru, I didn't want to make you cry- I... ano..." Natsukis eyes are full of emotion and her cheeks slightly red.

This time Shizuru is the one to act. She pulls the slightly smaller girl closer and puts their lips back together. Soon her tongue starts asking for entrance by tingling Natsukis lower lip. _'What are we doing...this seems like a dream. If it is then please don't wake me up.'_

Soon Natsuki opens her lips, giving Shizuru permission to enter. Their kiss develops, from desperate to slow as both of them try to find the right rhythm.

Still their tongues are having a fight about who is the leading one. Natsuki pulls away, gasping for air and Shizuru starts to overflow with emotions. _'I just kissed her...she knows what she's doing or so it seems...I should kill the one she kissed before. Ara? Was I too fast? She looks confused. Should I lean in for another kiss?'_

"Your jeans." Natsuki breaks the silence.

"Ara?"

"It's in the way...in my way." Her cheeks becoming more and more red as the seconds go by. A short look from crimson to forest green and back.

_'Now I start to feel dizzy.'_

Shizuru quickly softens the grip on Natsuki who takes the invitation and opens the button of Shizurus jeans. As Shizuru feels Natsuki tremble slightly she pulls her back into a tight hug and starts a new kiss. After a few more moments of fighting for dominance Shizuru finally wins and deepens the kiss. Pushing Natsuki back against the wall to keep balance as she starts to strip her jeans down and throws it gracefully, well as much as someone can do that gracefully, over to the basin.

_'Why did I pick this panties today? They don't even match with the bra. They're just simply white and purple striped...'_

"Your panties?" A bright like tomato blush on her cheeks.

"Kannin na, my Natsuki. I didn't expect someone to see." This time Shizuru was the one to blush.

"No-ano...I have the same ones, just blue, not purple. I didn't know they were so pretty in purple. Seems like you have a better taste." Green locking with crimson.

"Arigato, but I think they would look a lot better on you." Her eyes wandering from Natsukis eyes down to her abdomen. "I change that, I prefer Natsuki like that."

_'Seems like I win back control. I just teased her...but it's true. Kannin na, Na~tsu~ki .'_

* * *

><p><strong>Well...hope you liked it. R+R<strong>_  
><em>

**and I always apreciate critism.  
><strong>

**Q: You didn't give Nana's name...  
><strong>

**A: sorry, really but since this is so short it will be in some of the following chapters.  
><strong>

**Q: Why do I ask you this questions?  
><strong>

**A: Because I can't talk to Natsuki and Shiozuru...they're busy making out.  
><strong>

**Q: You changed the rating?  
><strong>

**A: Yup...hope I am able to write perv stuff...  
><strong>


	4. Give me a direction

**Heya crazy people ;)**

**so I didn't take that long to update this time (for those who read the complete story and not just one half) and I'm pretty excited about it.**

**Did I already mention that I'm studying English? Hopefully my writing skills improve over the years.**

**So, for those of you who have already read 'what is messing with my head' here comes the revealing chapter.**

**RioN**

**Disclaimer: I can't even affort to buy one character, so Mai Hime obviously isn't mine**

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRR

Shizuru is driving out of central Fuuka in her BMW, not even recognising the beautiful landscape. The glow of the early afternoon sun creating all different kinds of blue, orange and slightly violet shapes in the sky. She is too occupied with her own thoughts when her mobile rings and her hands-free car kit taking the call.

"Hello, Shizuru-sama?", an old sounding, male voice echos through the car.

_'Huh? I'm not even back for two days, can't they just let me properly arrive? Oh, Kenji-san. What do I owe the pleasure of my parents dearest butler to call me?'_ She almost can't stop herself from letting it slip out, but the fact is, she really likes Kenji. His wife had also been an employee of the Fujino's and when Shizuru was still a little girl those two would often cover up for her when she wanted to escape her mothers strict education. Officially she would be practising tea ceremony in her room, but when she was sure her mother wouldn't notice, she would often run to the woods and climb up a tree, just to watch the nature. She liked the different shapes of clouds, the way the birds chirped around her and now and then she would feed some nuts to the squirrels.

Obviously climbing trees and running around in the mud was something that Shizurus parents wouldn't agree on. The one time her mother saw her dirty hands she immediately blamed her husband. Shizuru had to get it from his family, because as a true descendent of the Fujino, a wealthy clan of an old breeding that's reaching back to the Edo period, there can't be any possibility that her blood is defiled.

"Hello, Kenji-san. It is a pleasure to hear from you. How is Hikari doing? It has been an eternity since I saw her." Shizuru answered politely.

"She is doing pretty well indeed. She will enroll into Fuuka acadamy next year. I swear she looks more like her mother every day." The happiness in his voice fading at the last part.

"It's a shame she can't see her like this. Make sure to greet Hikari from me." Shizuru's trained calm attitude hiding her actual feelings. It was hard for her to lose the one she could always talk to._ 'What would you say now if you knew that I am in love with a girl, Kyoko? You would have seen right through me from the start, I guess. I promise you that your daugther will have a good life. Maybe I should call the academy, I still have a lot of influence there, make sure she get's into the council.'_

"I definitely deliever your greetings Fujino-sama, but I'm afraid I had a reason to call you. Where are you right now?" Kenji's voice already announcing that something is up.

Shizuru finally noticed that she was driving around town with no real destination in mind.

_'I just had to get away, now where am I going?'_

"I'm on the way to my residence. Are my parents asking to see me?"

"Yes, Fujino-sama. I shall invite you to tea and cake. When would be a good time for you to-" he was interrupted by Shizuru.

"Ano, would now be a convenient time for my dear parents?"

_'At least this will keep my mind occupied. There's no better thing for that than my parents.'_

"Yes, of course. I will inform them and start preparing everyhing. See you shortly." Keiji replied a bit taken aback by the sudden urgency of Shizuru to spend time with her parents.

1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 11

She tried. She tried so very hard, but in the end she failed. She couldn't beam herself to her parents residence. And while driving along the cost she lost the battle inside her mind. All she could see was perfect porcelain skin, lightly reddened by the hot water and Natsuki's slightly swollen lips – and the last thing was her doing; her kissing, nibbling and even light biting as her craving for the raven haired beauty became too hard to control.

_**~FLASHBACK~**_

**Shizuru quickly softens the grip on Natsuki who takes the invitation and opens the button of Shizurus jeans. As Shizuru feels Natsuki tremble slightly she pulls her back into a tight hug and starts a new kiss. After a few more moments of fighting for dominance Shizuru finally wins and deepens the kiss. Pushing Natsuki back against the wall to keep balance as she starts to strip her jeans down and throws it gracefully, well as much as someone can do that gracefully, over to the basin.**

**"Your panties?" _'Her blushing is something I can never get enough of__.__'_**

**"Kannin na, my Natsuki. I didn't expect someone to see." _'I felt so insecure, I never felt like this before.__'_**

**"No-ano...I have the same ones, just blue, not purple. I didn't know they were so pretty in purple. Seems like you have a better taste." 'I couldn't tell her that I bouglt them because I knew she had the striped blue ones.'**

**"Arigato, but I think they would look a lot better on you." Her eyes wandering from Natsukis eyes down to her abdomen. "I change that, I prefer Natsuki like that."**

_**'So beautiful. Your eyes feel like home.'**_

**Shizuru starts kissing a fiecely blushing Natsuki again.**

"**Out of the cubicle, right now." Shizuru purrs into Natsuki's ear and she can feel the younger woman shivering against her.**

**As they move from the shower to the basin Shizuru notices the glossy shimmer in Natsuki's eyes.**

_**'Her eyes are shiny and I think her pupils are dialeted. Is this...lust or is it the medicine?'**_

**She pulls a bit away from Natsuki and thinks of the first hing she could ask her to make sure that this isn't going to end like their first kiss, with her taking adventage of a weak Natsuki.**

"**Nee, Na~tsu~ki. Does my Natsuki know how she got home from the hospital?"**

"**What do you mean?" Natsuki looks at her with a confused expression on her face.**

"**Just like I said. How did we get here, my Natsuki?" She asked again while starting o get a bit anxious.**

"**I, err. I don't know. Cab, right. Yeah, in a cab." Natsuki decited to answer at least.**

_**'Oh, my dear Natsuki. I always am ruining everything. But it's just the medicine and I want to have your heart, not only your body, even though I am dying to finally touch you and make you mine.'**_

"**We should head to the couch."**

**Shizuru drags Natsuki over to the living room. The still weakened girl more tumbling than walking. She lays her down carefully, grabbing the nearest blanket and tossing it over them after cuddling into Natsukis side.**

**/**

**It didn't take long till Natsuki fell asleep, not even ten minutes. Shizuru held her eyes closed the whole time, not daring to let her crimson orbs wander over the sleeping beauty.**

**'This feels like déjà-vu, only this time you look even more like an angel in your birthday suit than you did last time in that yukata. I feel like an intruder to your pureness.'**

**She climbed out from underneath the blanket and hastily put her clothes back on. She didn't trust herself enough to even glance back at Natsuki before leaving the flat without any direction to go.**

_**~END FLASHBACK~**_


	5. Good, bad and then there are the parents

**Heya guys!**

**Late, I know. BUT: This chapter is a bit longer again, just so it fits in the timeline with 'What is messing with my head'.**

**So...meeting my version of Shizuru's parents.**

**Disclaimer: Nana's the only thing I own, and my ultrabook...and you know, the HiME tattoo ;)**

**This chapter is actually for my best friend.**

**RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR**

"Miss Shizuru. Welcome to Fujino Mansion. I hope evrything went well on your way over." Kenji greeted her as he opend the gate.

"Yes, Kenji-san. Everything ok, till now. Don't know how that will be after meeting my dear parents." Shizuru replied, the last part only a whisper but Kenji understood her.

As they walked through the entrance hall Shizuru noticed that nearly nothing has changed, except for some paintings that added to the old ones weren't more than 7.

"Your room is still kept in check. I made it my dayly routine to check your collection of tea sets for dirty spots. I know how much you like them." Kenji kept the conversation formal, but those two learned over the years how to read between the lines.

_'So he protected them from my mother. She always wanted to put them together with her own. So, where are they awaiting me? I guess dad is in the garden and mom is having a business meeting in her office.'_

"Where can I find my parents?" Shizuru asked though she already knew the answer.

"I do believe you're aware of their whereabouts, Shizuru-sama. I will pepare the tea and bring it to the dining-room in 20 minutes." Kenji excused himself and left for the kitchen.

Shizuru quicky tiped a message to Nana, letting her know about her whereabouts.

1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 11

As she suspected, she found her father in the garden. He was always there. _'It's the only place my mother __nearly __never goes to. He hasn't changed much.'_

"Hello father." She greeted him shortly but with a slight bow.

"Ara, Shizuru my love. Didn't think you would visit us so soon. How was your flight? I hoped you would take the family jet. Traffic in airports are getting you tired out, at least that's what your mother always says." Kouga took his daughter in his arms.

_'So she used his jet again and he had to go to his meetings via plane. Mother really knows how to run this family, huh?'_

"Yes, father. It is exhausting but I really like to watch people and an airport is a good place for that."

"That is definitely something you got from your mother. She can read people like books. I just hope you're not picking up on that part. It's not good for your health to manipulate people, believe me. I may be the head of CiS-Corp, but there is no better manipulator than her. You heard already about us taking over the 'Rodd and Sons'?"

"No, I don't keep on track with the record mother sends me. I do not intend to take over our business."

As they speak they don't see Shizurus mother aproaching. She listens for a minute till she decides to make her precence known.

"You say that and yet you did profit from your name when you bought that car of yours, didn't you?" Her voice is steady and hard, not at all caring like her fathers.

"Well, hello to you too mother. To your information, I didn't choose a BMW just because we deliever them carparts. I like it very much though, thanks for giving it to me as a present."

_'I still can't believe she did that for me. Normally it's all about honour and money. There are times she surprises me.'_

"You should have asked for the family jet, love. Airports are terrible places." Shiroki matched the words her husband used before.

"I will, next time. Oh, and congratulations for taking over 'Rodd and Sons'. I believe we now have new partners to deliever to?" _'I at least have to sound interested or this topic will never vanish. Maybe I can tell them about Tokyo for a bit.'_

"Yes, we now will be delievering for ducati and chevrolet." There was actually a hint of emotion in her voice.

1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 11

By the time they got to the living room and took seats to enjoy drinking their tea, Shizuru had managed to change the topic to her studies. She wasn't the greatest fan of her mother and her all business attitude, but she knew that it would only get worse. While her mother was all business and profit, her father was more into the topic of marriage. Especially marriage to a young man of a wealthy family. While her mother could read her like a book and knew probably all about Shizurus feelings for Natsuki, her father was still oblivious. He wouldn't take it well, that much was sure. He wanted his daughter to have a traditional life, not beeing a business woman like her mother. And Shizuru doesn't want to be one, but she also doesn't want to marry some wealthy guy and be a housewife.

"Shizuru, love. While your here, let's talk about a really nice young man I encountered on my last meeting. He-" Kouga was cutted off by Shiroki.

"I don't think this is a good topic to have, darling." She shot looks between her husband and daugther.

"Fine! I will be in my office then." Kouga was majorly pissed off. He wanted a traditional family and not a wife that would speak up against him.

Shizuru on her side was grateful her mother stopped him. _'One thing I do like her for. She's not interested in who I choose, just as long as I follow her footsteps. I think she might actually like my Natsuki, she is after all an independent woman.'_

"So, I guess my daughter showing up here immediately means she is escaping from something. Am I right? Maybe that little flower you seem to have so much interest in." Shiroki takes a sip of her tea.

'_She is informed as always, I guess. Maybe I should start to worry.'_

Shiroki took her daughters silence as a confirmation and continued. "Ara, don't worry Shizuru. I just know when my daughter uses her money to help one of her friends and you do know that I have tea with the head of Fuuka Hospital regulary. Is she feeling better now?"

"Do you really care, mother? Or is it just the money that makes you ask?" _'I hate how this is turning out. Maybe I shouldn't challenge her.'_

"Even if you think that I'm a heartless being, I just want the best for my family. We have a Name we should honour and you absolutely know that. That, what was her name again, Kuga Natsuki, right?"

"Yes, mother."

"She has quite the background but she turned out to be a tough woman. I know that she is the one giving you a hard time, so the question would be if my daughter is tougher and can keep up with the challenge. I guess this is where you can proove that you are indeed a Fujino. I will keep a close eye on this."

They both empty their cups and Shizuru stands up, ready to leave. _'__I should hurry. Don't want to make everyone wait for me.'_

"Goodbye mother."

"Goodbye, oh and Shizuru. Don't worry about your father, he loves you, he will come around I think."

'Ara, now that was a reaction I didn't expect. Maybe I am missing out on something.'

As she took her leave Shizurus mind was still occupied with what her mother told her. At least the visit fulfilled its purpose. She freed her mind of Natsuki and the consequences after what happened in the bathroom for at least an hour.

**RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR**

**S: Ara, RioN. I heard your best friend is getting the HiME tattoo tomorrow.**

**R: Yeah, nice thing. She's getting it where Natsuki's is. I'm excited! **

**S: So this means this chapter is for her?**

**R: Exactly. Oh and before you leave. I got the present you wanted for Natsuki. You gonna tell me what you need all the mayo for or... NO! Forget I asked!**

**(Runs out of the room as fast as she can.)**

**S: Oh ~Na~tsu~ki~...**


	6. Gone for good?

**Surprise! Yes, two in this short time ;)  
><strong>

**So here we go again girls!  
><strong>

**I asked you all a question at the last chapter of WIMWMH and so far only _Maii-senpaii _gave me a response, wich I'm absolutely grateful for!**

**(Thank you, thank you, thank you)**

**To continue I really need to know what you guys want (and why). Please use the chance and PM me, twitter me ( RioNxAmy) or at least tell me in the reviews, though I'd like to discuss it and reviews are not as good for that ;)**

**Also thank you all your reviewers, also all the guest reviewers of course.**

**To clarify: Nana is just a character I added so she could give insight to Shizuru's life while in Tokyo. I planned to let her leave early but I think it's funny to write her and she is kinda Shizurus emotional support.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own it, sadly.**

**Enough said, enjoy Shizuru's PoV of the evening.**

**RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR**

_'I really don't know what to do anymore. Since I left my parents home all I can think about is how I should apologise. Will Natsuki hate me for this? I should hurry up with a plan, I'm nearly at her flat._

_I hope I didn't forget anything while stopping at mine. I feel like my heart and head are riding on a rollercoaster together.'_

As Shizuru parks her BMW in front of Natsuki's her nerves are getting the better of her. _'I guess this is one of those times where I would actually like a cigarette. What am I gonna do with you my Natsuki?'_

She is surprised to find the door unlocked but enters anyway. Her good guess is that Nana left it ajar, maybe she had seen her arrive? While entering the door she could already follow the conversation happening inside. Seems like Nana was talking about her with somebody.

"So, seems like the only one that's missing is Shi-chan."_'Nana...' _She guessed right with that.

_'Please don't tell me Natsuki already told them everything that happened? Should I leave while I still can? No, no. I have to face what I've done. I can't always be running away. Mother's right, I have to prove myself.'_

"By Shi-can you mean the Kaichou?!" A second voice said.

_'Ara, I guess that's my cue to announce my arrival.'_

"Ara? Is everyone talking about me? I know I'm kind of late, gomene. But I did bring the things from my apartment oh and some Mayo for Natsuki, I think yours was empty."

_'Good Shizuru. Stay calm, don't overreact. Act like nothing is wrong. Did I go to far by bribing Natsuki with mayo? Just smile...'_

"Err...thanks." Natsuki answered a bit timidly.

_'At least she's still talking to me. She does look kind of nervous though.'_

Mai saves them from any more complications and awkward looks. "So, now that the cooking team is complete we'll head over to the kitchen and start and Natsuki and Aoi can choose the games they want to play later." And with Mai's statement they left for the kitchen in unison.

1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 1

In the kitchen is the atmosphere a lot better. Shizuru calms down, perhaps the combination of cooking and Nana's presence provides this homely feeling. With all the fresh food they have to prepare they fall in a light and easy rhythm only disturbed by Mikoto, who is, as always a bit hyperactive.

One look of Shizuru told Nana everything she needed to know. She was already suspicious, of course. Shizuru leaving to see her parents when it meant leaving Natsuki? Alone? Something must be wrong. Maybe with Shizuru's parents, but that wouldn't add up with the state she found Natsuki in.

As she sees Shizuru leaning against the kitchen board to wash the vegetables she walks up behind her and takes her in a light embrace. "Everything will work out in the end. It always does. Just have a little faith." She whispers into Shizuru's ear from behind while giving her a short squeeze.

_'How do you always know when to hold me? I'm so glad you came with me to Fuuka, __I don't know how I would cope without you.'_

1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 1

It took them quite a while to prepare everything but as the table was right know filled from one end to the other with delicious looking and smelling food the hard work was totally forgotten.

It was a family like atmosphere and the chatter was never ending. Shizuru made sure to focus on everything that was said. The other option would mean focussing on Natsuki, something she couldn't stand right now.

She was glad that Aoi brought some wine with her. _'Building up courage, building up courage,...'_

Actually she hadn't really spoken that much to Aoi in her time at Fuuka Academy, but now felt as good a time as ever. Aoi was indeed a nice person, though she seemed a bit out of her mind.

_'Maybe she misses that friend of hers who's always around. I've never seen those two running around alone. I wonder if...'_

As everybody was finished with dinner Nana stood up slowly, glancing between Shizuru an Natsuki a smirk grew on her face.

_'Oh no! Don't you dare, Nana!'_

"So, why don't Aoi and I go out and get some more booze while Mai and Mikoto do the dishes? I'm sure Shizuru and Natsuki need some catching up time, right?"

_'I'll kill you later. Shit, I'm not ready for this conversation yet!'_

Shizuru shot an angry look over at Nana. "I don't think it is fair to let Mai and Mikoto-chan do all the clean up, Nana."_'Manners, don't you have some, Nana?'_

"Ano, I would like to have some time to catch up, if you don't mind of course, Mai?"

_'Natsuki...can't you see I'm too afraid for that? I can't lose you, again. Please just leave it.'_

"We'll do the dishes, right Mai? I could do it alone if you want?" Mikoto sprung to life just like that.

"Of course I'll help you, Mikoto." She turned around and headed for the kitchen, "Oh, and why don't you ask her for some help with school? You have some work to do after all. She was one of the best in her year."

_'Great Mai, that means I will have to spend even more time with her while having this guilty feelings.'_

1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 1

Once left alone silence fell upon them. It felt like there was a newly build wall, right in between them. It never used to feel that way. Shizuru knew that with her coming out, at least to her friends, things would change. They did. There was no way she could look at Natsuki more than a minute before she had to look away now. She learned that the hard way at Tokio U.

There was a time when she got lost in her thoughts while looking in the direction of a girl from her Math lecture. The consequences were that someone spread the rumor of those two dating and the girl never talked to her again. _'In fact I was thinking about you, Natsuki. I never found out who spread that rumor, though.'_

So here they were, silent and uncomfortable. _'The wine is nearly empty and I still don't feel any different. Natsuki you're always messing with my head.'_

"Ano, Zuru...there is something I need to ask you. Please, um...err. Today, I mean before in the bathroom. I err..." Natsuki's voice sounded a bit strange. It was a tone Shizuru wasn't used to. Natsuki was normally a lot more forward and aggressive._ 'Strange...' _

The room felt like someone just sucked out all the air and seconds felt like hours.

_'I have to do something. I can't lose my Natsuki. I made my decision. I will forget about these feelings once and for all and start being the best friend Natsuki can have. I rather live with these feelings for her and be her friend than to live completely without her. It didn't work out the last time I thought that some time apart would cure our friendship.'_

"Gomene, Natsuki. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable, I swear. It all happened so fast. I can understand if you are mad at me. It was a mistake, I let my feelings take control of me again and I'm ashamed of myself. I should have stopped you." Shizuru took a big mouthful of her wine.

_'Courage, courage, courage...'_

Shizuru leans over to place a hand atop Natsuki's.

"Don't Shizuru." Natsuki sounds worse than before.

_'Shit! What did I do...She doesn't even want to get touched by me anymore.'_

She immediately removes her hand and Natsuki looks shocked to her now abandoned hand.

"Not that, Zuru. Stop apologising. That's not what I wanted. You know, I'm the one high on medicine." _'Did she just- apologise?'_

"Shizuru I-"

"HELLOOOOOO! Chie is finally in the house. What did I miss?" Chie bumps into the room just like that.

1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111 1

After they were interrupted like that they didn't get the time alone they needed. Desperately.

Nana and Aoi arrived with two bags full of booze and they started to play through all the board-games that Mai had brought with her. At least the awkward feeling was washed away, and as the others began to get really drunk, somehow the booze eased Shizuru's mind enough so that she could look over at Natsuki from time to time. She had to smile, really, she always had to when she saw the beauty that Natsuki is.

_'What did you just try to tell me my Na~tsu~ki? You have such a strange expression on your face.'_

While they played the time ran away. Chie ignored Aoi most of the evening, and before the alcohol kicked into Shizuru's system she wondered about the circumstances why. At least Natsuki was preoccupied with Chie, so she could look at her from time to time without being caught. It all felt like it was a totally normal evening for the whole lot of them. By the time she heard Natsuki agree to go out with all of them on friday to a karaoke bar her mind was buzzed and all the fears of the day were forgot, for now at least.

_'She doesn't seem that mad at me. At least I'll have some time with her while studying. Maybe Nana was right. You've got to have faith.'_

**RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR**

**So that's that.**

**I just remind you of YOUR choice again.**

**The big question now is:**

**Do you guys want something, well "carnival" like to happen? I mean like some action in it, maybe a new big bad in town? I would focus mainly on the already introduced characters (plus Haruka and Yukino of course cause they're hilarious) and "leave out" the rest of them.**

**OR**

**Do you guys feel like keeping this as it is. This ending is already kinda planned out. It would mean that I focus on the two of them getting what they want (or not *evil laugh*).**

**Either way there will be Shizuru's parents involved.**

**So PM me or better yet discuss it with me via twitter, I would love that 3**


End file.
